MiXeD TAPE!

hey friends! it's been a while i know- i am NOT the worlds best blogger. but i do have some exciting news to share. i am going to be in Poppytalk Handmade's MIXED TAPE Market from sept 21- oct 16! i am super excited and super over-worked- which, as always, is my very own fault! i guess it's better than having nothing to do but i need to learn how to not eat, sleep and breathe luggage and art..... nice try rachel.

i remember making mixed tapes. getting one tape to record onto another and getting the timing just right between songs. those were some good times. all set up in front of all of my fathers black music equipment. 2 tape decks a record player an equalizer? i didn't know how half of the stuff worked but i knew how to make a mixed tape. i'd make them on the weekends. they would fill up my time. and the music would fill up my head and heart and take me away from all the pain and confusion of growing up. music = escape.

i couldn't ask to be in a cooler market. it's called mixed tape for cryin out loud! sweet. excited. overwhelmed and taking an airplane trip soon. to gather some of my friend's ashes and his camera.
october will be here before we know it. i will say hello to michigan for you. i will take many many pictures.

until next time.....

THIS IS HOW YOU ARE

tonight i went rollerblading while my brother rode his trick bike bike beside me. we both had our ipods on and the summer night here in florida was just right. the air blew off the water in every kind of perfect way as the sun set. i wanted to be 14 again but then i didn't. i didn't want to be 29 either. i was listening to yes, i will admit it, alanis morissette's jagged little pill. you know when you hear songs for the first time at a new age? like where was Mary Jane when i was young? i knew it was sad but nothing in it rang too true as the angst and screaming we could all belt out on our way to school or in my best friends basement.
there was this line in the song.....
"Are you happy
Please don't censor your tears"
it just kept playing on a loop in my head.
i don't know why and i'm not going to analyze it. i'm so sick of analyzing these days. i don't like to brush things under the rug but when you feel like emotional garbage and you know you just have to wait it out, well, what's the point in analyzing? it just makes the awfulness more severe.
emotions.
i feel out of breath, i feel like i'm fading.
can't i just stay in my brother's room watching tv shows on dvd, drawing, ignoring all of etsy and why this and why that?
i think i want to walk right off this chair.....