a Broken FOOL.....

if you read my blog, if you've read a few entries of my blog then you know that i don't just blog about the shop. i often blog about the insanity inside my head. maybe that is about my shop though? because it's out of that insanity box that comes my ideas for new pieces, new drawings, new photos, new uses for a train case etc.

either way, not the point of this post.
my all time FAVORITE quote, it inspired this post

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
C.S. Lewis

i know i wear my heart on my sleeve. i know it irritates people. i know i will be a target for certain people to hate. i was recently called brave.... and it really got the wheels in my head churning more than usual. sometimes i feel brave but most of the time i feel foolish.
but here's the thing,
i'd rather be an honest FOOL if there is ANY remote possibility of my honesty helping another to feel less alone, than unbreakable and safe in my casket.
some people may not understand me, why i chose to write the things i write. sometimes that bothers me. but when i stop- really STOP and think about it- i wouldn't change a thing. i will keep on coming back for more of the punches because it's worth it.
because i'd never want to let go of feeling love.
i've felt the pull of general malaise quite often in my life.
and i can say with absolute certainty,
that feeling nothing at all is
far worse
than feeling intense pain.
love hard, love even though it will hurt sometimes.

and that's all i am going to say for now.......